


dear reader

by andthentheybow



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Karl Jacobs-centric, M/M, no beta we die like stupid block men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthentheybow/pseuds/andthentheybow
Summary: karl travels through time and space with one goal in mind: to make things right.he swears, he’ll make things right. for sapnap.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 22
Kudos: 84





	dear reader

**Author's Note:**

> don't be creepy about content creators, these are my interpretations of their personas, if they're uncomfortable this will be deleted, etc etc
> 
> just speedran this so have a lil drabble

_ dear reader, _

_ i wish i could tell you that this ends well. _

  
  
  


_ it doesn’t. _

  
  
  


_ it never does. _

  
  


karl stops. puts the book down. this isn’t how he meant for it to go. none of this is how he meant for it to go.

  
  


_ let me start again: _

_ dear reader,  _

_ i want to tell you a story. and i wish i could tell you that that story has a happy ending. i say that it never does because i have lived this story a hundred million times and it has never ended well, it has never ended anywhere close to well. sometimes it looks like it’s going to be okay, but things always go south. _

_ no matter what version of the story i’m living, it ends with this: death. _

_ so much death. _

  
  


their names echo through his mind so loudly he can’t hear them. he can’t even remember them if he tries, and god does he try.

he’s not human. he’s never been human. he started the time-travelling gig to try and fix the wrongs of the world, to try and make things right. there’s too much death and destruction and l’manberg has been blown to bedrock and something about it just seems not right. so he starts time-travelling, and he almost regrets it.

he almost regrets it because of how often he has to see the love of his life die, in however many different forms. he always recognizes the man who’s supposed to be sapnap, and his name doesn’t matter, his attitude doesn’t matter, it’s always the same. it’s the universe’s way of taunting him. it’s the universe’s way of saying he’s not supposed to be doing what he’s doing. he can’t change the past, he can’t change the present.

(he can change the future. and maybe, just maybe, he’ll find a timeline where he and sapnap get to grow old together.)

  
  


_ maybe i’m exaggerating when i say i’ve lived this story a hundred million times. the number’s closer to a couple dozen. _

  
  


a couple dozen too many. they all end the same way nonetheless.

here’s how the story goes:

karl meets sapnap. they fall in love. they get engaged. someone burns down their eiffel tower. sapnap offers to start a war, and karl tells him not to. they go to war anyways. sapnap’s best friend gets locked in a prison. sapnap gets angrier. and then-

here’s how the story goes:

they’re in the present day. they’re at a masquerade. they’re in the old west. it doesn’t matter where they are, the story goes the same:

sapnap dies. and karl is left alone.

  
  


_ dear reader, _

_ the love of my life is dead. again. it’s partially my fault. i can’t stop it from happening. _

  
no. start again.

  
  


_ dear reader, _

_ my name is karl jacobs and i am supposed to be happy with the man i am engaged to. instead he is dead. his blood is on my hands. _

  
no. start again.

  
  


_ dear reader, _

_ dear reader, _

_ dear reader, _

  
  


every time sapnap dies. every time there is something karl could have done to prevent it, because karl knows how this goes, he knows how this story ends. and he fills his journals with the things he remembers and then, at the very end, he writes one that’s just about sapnap.

  
  


_ dear reader, _

  
  


he closes the book.

then he stands up. stretches. pushes his chair in at the kitchen table. hides the journal somewhere sapnap won’t find it. he makes his way up the stairs to their bedroom and closes the door quietly. it is where the love of his life is sleeping, the love of his life who is not dead in this timeline (at least, not yet). sapnap is asleep, hogging the covers and taking up the entire bed. karl lifts one corner of the blanket and sapnap automatically moves over.

“hey, baby,” he says. “done working?”

“yeah,” karl says. “i’m done.” he slides into bed and sapnap wraps both arms around him, swings one leg over both of karl’s. karl leans into the touch, relaxes for the first time all day. sapnap presses a lazy kiss to his cheek. without the bandana, his dark hair falls into karl’s face.

after a few minutes, sapnap’s heavy breathing indicates that he’s fallen back asleep. karl’s mind races with the ways this could go badly.

but for now, it is not going badly. they are both here, and they are both alive, and they are both okay. they are in their bed in their home and sapnap’s ring is glinting on his finger and he can feel it making an indent on his arm. karl’s ring is dangling on a chain around his neck and he can feel the cool press of it against his beating heart. he does not need to worry about time travel or the in-between or anything else.

“sapnap,” he whispers. sapnap doesn’t respond. now that karl’s here, he’ll sleep through anything. “let me tell you a story.”

sapnap’s arms tighten, just for a moment, barely noticeable. karl continues anyways.

“dear sapnap,” he murmurs. “i wish i could tell you that this ends well. i wish i could tell you that everything will be okay. i wish so many things. i want so many things. and i can’t promise that we’ll be alright, but i’m trying. i’m trying, sap, i’m trying to make things right.”

he takes a deep breath. in, out. he listens to sapnap’s heart, still beating, still beating.

“and i know that you’re hurting. i know that there are things i can’t fix. but i’m going to try my best. for you. i’m doing all of this for you.”

he presses his forehead against sapnap’s chest.

“dear sapnap,” he says again. “i wish i could promise you so many things that i can’t. but i can promise you that i’ll try. for you, i’ll try. until it’s me that’s dead and not you. until we can both be happy. i’m not going to give up.”

sapnap shifts. karl freezes.

“dear sapnap,” he breathes out. “i love you. across every time i love you. i will never stop loving you. till death do us part.”

  
  
  
  
  


_ dear reader, _

_ it may not end well this time. but i’m going to keep trying, and i won’t stop until we get our happy ending. _

**Author's Note:**

> [ twitter](https://www.twitter.com/andthentheybow)
> 
> comments/kudos/etc are always appreciated!


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